Take a moment and think back to the first time you made a special friend. Can you remember him or her? Was it at nursery school? At the park with your mom, while playing on the swings? Perhaps it was the kid who used to live next door to you? You can probably quite clearly recall that first bond and how great it made you feel.

The power of friendship, and learning what it means to have a friend and to be one, is one of life’s most important experiences – as a child, a teenager and an adult. ‘True friendship is maybe the only relationship that can survive life’s trials and tribulations,’ says Isobel Botha, a registered social worker from the Western Cape.

But in a world in which online ‘friends’ have replaced close buddies and we see celebs go from one BFF to the next, how do you make sure your friendships last? Is it even possible to experience the real deal any more? It is, and here are ways you can be a buddy for life.

PLEDGE YOUR ALLEGIANCE
‘Even though friendship is a blend of affection, love, respect and trust, it’s loyalty that stands out as one of the most important friendship factors,’ explains Isobel. It’s being there for your buddy through the good times and the bad. It’s helping them reach their potential and standing next to them when they receive praise. It’s about putting their needs above yours when necessary and always making sure you have their back.

By being a loyal friend you’re setting a bench-mark and showing your friends how highly you regard their happiness. This should encourage them to treat you in the same way. ‘If you’re willing to support your friend through hardship, stand up for them and share your thoughts and cares, you’ll develop and maintain an enduring bond,’ says Isobel.

BEST POLICY
Picture this. You and your best friend are going to the social event of the year. She knocks on your door wearing an outfit that would make Ke$ha blush. Do you act as if nothing is wrong because you don’t want to hurt her feelings? Or do you put on your brave face, be honest and tell her she’s about to make a fool of herself?

Honesty is a crucial part
of friendship. By being tactfully truthful your friend will most likely appreciate you more. Psychologist Dr Alex Lickerman says, ‘It’s said that “good advice grates on the ear” but a true friend won’t refrain from telling you something you don’t want to hear, even if it risks fracturing the friendship, if hearing it lies in your best interest.’

But what do you do if your friend gets mad at you, and you get into a big fight? Like any relationship, friendships experience their fair share of battles. Isobel says that, whenever a fight occurs, it’s important to evaluate your part in the misunderstanding and do your best to resolve the issue. ‘Sincere apologies and remembering the good things about your friendship should help you sort out your differences.’

THE LONG HAUL
It takes time to develop meaningful friend-ships, and it’s important to commit yourself and make the effort to build them. Treasure your friends by showing interest in their lives and making them feel special. It’s also really important to have fun together, to trust and support each other and to understand that in every friendship there will be arguments, but they don’t mean the friendship is over.

Someone once said that if you can count your friends on one hand, you’re a lucky person. But with so many alternative places,
such as MXit and Facebook, to meet people, how do you distinguish between real friends and fake ones? ‘Real friendship is tangible – a hug means a thousand times more than a smiley face emoticon,’ says Isobel. While social media has its place to connect people and keep track of everyone’s lives, nothing can replace truly committed friends sharing a good old chat, instead of a few wall posts and pokes online.

CELEBRITY BESTIES
Courtney Cox on Jennifer Aniston
‘She’s been there for me in a lot of ways, and she really is just the most dependable, loyal and funny person. I mean she cracks me up. Constantly.’

P Diddy on Ashton Kutcher
‘He is a sounding board for me. But we’re yin and yang: I’m in your face, he’s understated, cool, suave.’

Selena Gomez on Demi Lovato
‘Demi and I have been friends since we were six years old. She’s my best friend. We respect each other’s careers and our friendship and there is much admiration.